A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
