she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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