ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
they need to just BURY HIM!
he was CRYING into my vagina
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize