Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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