it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
