; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
there was a trapeze. enough said
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
