i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
