So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
