do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
