But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize