3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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