Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
