Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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