I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
