the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
3pm strippers are depressing
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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