what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
