I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
