there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
