so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
