I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize