In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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