She is in my trunk
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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