North Korea, Best Korea!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
