she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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