Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
