you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
