I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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