On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
