Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
