1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Apparently you make a good broom.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
