"it" just moved
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
But theres a keg here and me gusta
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
