My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
