she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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