omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
