Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
