Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
