Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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