you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
you inspire me to be a worse person
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
