Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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