So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
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