Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
