I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We don't watch enough power rangers
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
