Duck Duck Cougar?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
