We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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