i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
