you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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