apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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