I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
