You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
