why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize