This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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