I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
