Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
