i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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