So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
