If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
