dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Drake has all the answers
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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