but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
