Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Mom said you looked used
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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