Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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