In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
