Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
