I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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