ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
