her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
