Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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