Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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