somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
