So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
