ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i will never coherently bang her
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
