and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
