Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
